Have to be courageous
by musicmaniac96
Summary: 2x24 ending What would have been if Beckett would have told him about her feelings
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Castle and Beckett 2x24 ending what would have been when Beckett would have told him her feelings...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or ist characters.**

 **Have to be couragous**

After the solved case they' ve been sitting around and drinking some beer. Everyone had fun, there are Ryan and Roy talking about their families. There are Lanie and Espo wispering and laughing and there is Kate. She's sitting alone at the table watching the others. Happy to know that they are happy. After a while she asks "Hey guys do you know where Castle is hiding?"

"I thing he's just down the hallway talking to Alexis" Ryan says. Kate smiles to her friends "Thanks!" She knows Alexis had called earlier the day, and actually he had found some time to call her back.

Walking through the door and into the hallway she finds Castle turned to the wall showing her his back.

 _Damn, he's so sexy!_ She things watching his body and his light movements. _What are they talking about, maybe about Alexis boyfriend or the college she has to choose soon._ Now her eyes are sliding down his tall, muscular body until they find their rest right on his bottom. _If he would know what she's thinking right now, he would have catched her and leaded her into his bedroom, where they would to everything she ever fantasized about and more._

"Hey", comes a voice behind her back. Hands touching her hips. _Tom_ she things disappointed. But says "Heey, how long have you been there?"

"Just closed a case and thought my beautiful girlfriend might spend some time with me. Going to a romantic restaurant or so, that she is telling me about 3 weeks or so."

"Oh, Tom I would really like to but..."

"but?" he interrupts surprised.

"But I have to talk to you about ...something."

"Okay, go ahead."

"This isn't the right place." She's watching around to find a suitable place, "here come with me!"

She takes his hand and drags him into the break room.

"So?" he asks smiling, "Couldn't wait to unwrap me?"

She smiles but answers, "No, Tom listen. I really like you. And you are a great guy and all this. I'm sure there are many women out there who are just waiting to fall in love with a Tom Demming right now. But look, I'm not these kind of woman. I want to come home after solving a case and just sleep for the rest of the day and maybe even longer." She gives him an apologizing look. He's just leaning against the counter with his mouth wide open. He looks back into the hallway and catches Beckett looking at Castle. "It's about him, isn't it?"

She looks back at Demming, "I'm sorry" she says in a confessional tone. He gives her another look and walks out of the door and at least the precinct. Kate stays alone in the break room for a wail. Till Castle shows up smiling at her.


	2. Chapter 2

"How are you doing? Everything alright between you and Demming? I saw him leaving."

"Yeah, everything is as it should be. So any plans for tonight, Castle?"

"Mhm, actually yes. I had a call to do you know and now I'm on a date." He smiles at her wiggling with his eyebrow.

 _He's so sexy when he does this,_ she thinks. She wants to yell her feelings out so he and everyone else would know, that she is in love with him. With him only Richard Castle for far far too long without telling anyone.

"How about you?"

"I don't know." After several minutes in which they just watched each other smiling Kate begins "I … ahm.. I thing... it would be nice if we could... talk about something."

"Of course! So what is it about?"

"It's about..." Just then a smiling and exaggerated good-humored Gina makes her way to the hallway "Ricky where are you? I missed you too much after we hang up!"

Richard raises an eyebrow looking at Beckett, it makes her laugh. And before Castle is able to answer Gina, she makes her way to the break room. "Here you are" she says touching his neck giving him a kiss on the mouth which lasts obviously too long ,because they are in public. After pulling away from him, the Richard Castle Katherine Beckett had known was only a bunch of confusion. "Hello detective Beckett."

"Hello Gina!" Kate says surprised and gives Castle a what-the-hell-is-she-doing-here -look.

To break the ice he tells: "I told you about the date. It's with Gina . We are going to the Hamptons this summer."

"Wow, congratulations. For how long are you back together?" She asks, and her heart is breaking in this moment. She just wanted to tell him that she is in love with him for month and that she accepts his offer to go with him to the Hamptons. He sees the disappointed look in her eyes, but he doesn't know what to do. So he just answers: "She called me yesterday and we talked for hours and we finally said we could try it again." Gina grinned at him and holding him closer to her. But he feels that Kate isn't comfortable maybe she had a fight with Demming. "Gina, don't you wanna say hello to the rest of the guys?" he says. Gina doesn't want to go but the look he gives her makes her walking out like a angry little kid.

While touching Kates arm with his hand and rubbing it he asks: "Kate is everything okay?"

Like waking up from a hypnotizing daydream she says: "Yeah, sure sure! So you two really give it a try."

He nods. "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

 _Should I tell him that I finally realized that he could be the one for me? That he is the guy I'm dreaming about day and night._

"Uhm it's not so important Castle. We could talk about it after your vacation!" "Fine. But if you change your mind just call! Have a nice summer Beckett!" "You too!" she says and regrets it the moment she said it.


	3. Chapter 3

Back home she does her normal schedule after a solved case. She takes a bath and usually she could relax doing this. But not today. Today she is just thinking about Castle and what she should have told him. _But if you change your mind just call!_ His words echoing in her head for a while. Even after she took the bath.

 _Should I call him? Probably he is having sex with HER right now and he wouldn't answer or worse he would answer out of breath. That's not a good idea Kate! So what should I do?_ She asks herself. _Maybe send him a message._ She walks to the kitchen and opens a bottle of wine. After one glass she feels good and strong enough to write the message. She thinks about it a lot and changes the words as long as she is really satisfied with her text.

Dear Rick,

I know it is pretty late and I don't want to interrupt something, but I have something to tell you.

And you know I wanted to talk to you before. It is important for me that you know this.

I broke up with Tom today, because he is not what I want. I am sure that I know what I want now.

If Gina and you weren't back together maybe we could be together at the Hamptons now.

Because I am telling you ,a little to late ,I would have had accepted to go with you.

But you kind of choose her , so have fun!

Someone who really likes you, always

She presses the send button and regrets it. With more thinking about how it might go on or not she sets on the couch. She sits there for a while until the sound of her growling stomach takes her back to reality. She remembers that she hasn't eaten anything at lunch and left the precinct early after her unlovely talk with Castle.

 _Pizza would be the right thing to order_. She goes to the kitchen again. While Kate choose a pizza out of the leaflet her eyes are scanning the room and rest on the opened wine bottle. _Maybe I 'll get drunk tonight. I have nothing to loose._ She thinks by herself and calls the delivery service.

"Hi, here is Kate Beckett. I would like to have a salami pizza."

"Hi, Kate, it's Jake. Are you at home?"

"Yes, I am at home. Nice to have you back, Jake."

"Be there in 40 minutes. Thanks Kate!"

"Alright thank you, bye!"

"You are welcome, bye."

She hang up and sits back on her couch.

It felt several hour she had send the message as there was a knock on the door

 **A/N: Thanks for your Reviews. Sorry if you don't think this Story is what it supposes to be, but remember this is my first fanfiction! And it is not finished yet. It would be great if you would continue reading and don't call me names. You' re welcome ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

She walks slowly to the door, because she was a little drunk of three glass wine, and opens before she knows who is standing out there. Kate thought that it would be the pizza guy. But instead it was him, Castle, standing there with an insecure look on his face.

"Wow, Castle, what are you doing here?" she asks surprised.

"You know what I did about Gina, it was all wrong! She came to my flat a week ago and didn't stopped talking about how bad her life was and her boyfriend and everything. She told me that she is worth it to try it again and me, the brilliant idiot, agreed yesterday on the phone. So we came back together, but I swear as I saw the expression on your face falling apart as she kissed me at the precinct I wasn't able to lie to myself anymore. I broke up with her Kate as I read your message. And now I am here to get sure that this is really what you want!"

KATE, when he called her Kate her heart gets faster and faster and faster just like her thoughts. _Is this really happening, or is it just too-good-to-be-true? What is he talking about? Couldn't he just do me?_

While her thoughts went that far her eyes fixes on his lips. _How would it be to kiss them?_

"Kate, Kate, KATE are you listening to me?"

"What?" she says waking up from her daydream.

"I am sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked you if I could come inside, to talk to you."

"Oh, yes sure!" she has completely forgotten that he was standing outside all the time.

She smiles at him. "Everything's okay?", he asks taking of his coat.

"Perfect" these are the only words make it out of her mouth.

"Do you've something to drink? I drove all the way back lately."

" Yes. What do you want to?" her mind doesn't work right.. His presence does too much to her.

"Do you got wine?"

"Wine. Sure, is there something to celebrate? Red or white?" After these words he reaches for her and takes her by her hand making her turn around, stopping her at her way to the kitchen. She stumbles into him, but doesn't say anything and takes a step back. They just stare at each other. After some time they begin to check the other one out. Kate bite her bottom lip as she checks out his ...zone. Which makes him laugh. Her eyes make their way stride back to his face to his laughing eyes.

"Oh girl, what are YOU thinking?"

Without thinking she asks confused, "Why did you came here?"

Surprised by the question but willing to answer her he holds her hand and says "Because I want to tell you that your message was courageous and I should have had the same courage before to tell you that I'm in love with you Kate."


	5. Chapter 5

She couldn't help her chin falling over. But she collects herself again and stumbles right into him. Not knowing what she was doing or saying.

She stops a few millimeters in front of him first looking at his chest than into his face, his lips.

"I' m in love with you too." she whispers. His hands make their way to her cheek. A kiss presses on her lips. Not only a kiss warm, deep and full, tasting like chocolate and coffee. Kate closes her eyes, touching his chest. Grabbing him and pulling him closer. "Mhmmm" he groans into her mouth. At first the kiss has been shy and insecure but it becomes deeper and deeper. He touches her hips, her back, her hair and her butt. Which makes her coming even closer to his chest where her hands had been lying first. They made their way though his hair, his cheek, his back and also his butt which makes him break the kiss out of breath.

"Wow, wasn't expecting this." He says with a grin.

"Me too."

Their eyes meet and now she is the one who reaches after him to give him the most breathless making kiss in the world. Until he pushes her away.

"Kate, you are drunk!"

"No, I'm not", she says and tries to kiss him again.

"You are. I think it's best if I leave now", he says walking to the door.

"No! Castle", she nearly screams but he doesn't turn around. "Rick...please stay!"

He stops facing the door with the doorknob in his hand.

"Let us at least talk, please"

"Okay", he says turning around.

He closes the distance between himself and Kate. He sits on the couch while Kate hesitates at first standing next to him.

"I get you something to drink and if you like something to eat."

" Water would be enough , thanks Kate."

"You are welcome" , she says smiling at him and leaves him alone in her living room.

After five minutes she comes back with two glass of water. Castle had made himself comfortable on the couch.

Kate gives him his glass of water and sits next to him.

"I am sorry, Castle. It is true that I had some wine maybe it was too much. But Rick I thought I'd lost you, just because I was too cowardly to tell you that I love you."

He takes a sip and blinks to the ground. Until Kate takes his hands lying on his knee then he looks at her without saying anything.

"Castle I have decided and now I finally know what I want! Rick let us give it a try."

In a low voice he answers: "Kate how am I even supposed to trust anything that you say? After everything that happened during the last month. You acted like you didn't even like me. And now you kiss me and tell me you love me."

 **A/N: Hey guys sorry it took so Long. I had a lot of work to do for School.**

 **M You are the best I have ever met 3**


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